I am cleaning the slate for the good now - with this unusual, even surprising “mantra” the celebration season may turn to be a personalized, nourishing reconnecting-time for you, instead of the external and internal source of pressure this period often puts on us.
“How will this be, since I am pregnant and live with gestational diabetes?” - you can ask immediately. Let’s dive into the details right here together:
Clean the slate - this sentence is from a casino-scene, when all the tokens are swiped away to make space for starting a new round. This scene does show some similarities with pregnancy: something is starting from scratch, one may feel the unpredictability while taking her chance and hoping for the best. Yes, it is the usual way to be pregnant in this somehow tensed, layered situation - holding season/xmas traditions, keeping family relations as usual and parallelly embracing new roles and profound changes in the physical and mental state.
The fact that something new is beginning may confront the expectations that traditions are targeted to keep up. Now it is time to clean the slate during this advent / December, to dig deep to the root of the traditions and find freedom to adjust them to the personal reality.
Is there a usual menu that doesn’t fit your diet? Do you feel uncomfortable to see yourself in an outsider position not sharing the meal while the family is around the table, or do you have fears about how to keep your diet while being pushed out of your routine? Or do you opt for making a big deal out of GDM, just to make enough space and flexibility on the system for your special needs? It can bounce back: withdrawal on one hand - drama on the other just keep you in a situation of a victim.
Now it is time to clean the slate and get new stands. Instead of putting tokens to lucky-numbers and suffering the unpredictable or dominating the game, just tap into your integrity and give clear messages to build a space for the celebration: “I need this diet. Can you prepare these meals for me, or is it okay if I prepare and you include these to the menu as well? I would like to feel included!” Or: “I need more rest - cannot go / travel / take part, etc. but I am so eager to chat with you and see the photos. How can we connect even if I cannot go this year?”
Keywords are:
- I am - Clear info about your current state. More facts than drama.
- I need - Clear personal needs - not pushing expectations toward the other.
- Can you - Ideas, offers, opening inspirations instead of closed solutions.
- I want to connect - How can we make it? A true creative conversation of all sides.
So simple four steps! Cleaning the slate doesn’t mean we wipe away all good and old beloved traditions. It means that not the expectation is the gate, where these traditions can enter into our personal life. The real gate is finding a deep and shared meaning of these traditions - while forms can be adjusted - , so that we can connect to each other right from the state where we really are. If you embrace this approach, celebration time-with-GD would not be a gambling attempt anymore, but a true way of being. “I am here now and this is what I need” is a bold statement “How could we really meet?” is a great question to open that gate for Xmas or for family celebrations of all cultures. These words of freedom and connection are the best present one can get and offer.